Legendary Past Players

Ali Chisholme, BA (Hons)

AKA:
Was:

Ahh Ali. Famous for her drunken animal impressions and love for the great outdoors!!

Tom Crook, BA (Hons)

AKA: Crookie, C**t
Was: Men's 1st XI Captain (2003/4)

Tom's reign as first team captain ensured that Saturday nights were always entertaining. Crookie tended to have arrived an hour before anyone else, ensuring that he was battered by the time you turned up. Having consumed half the subs money, which he had collected from his team earlier that day, he'd proceed by playing magic noodles. This game involved throwing singapore style noodles into the air - whoever's drink it landed in had to be finished. When the subs money ran out, Tom with a noodle still hanging off his ear, would go to every fresher in his team saying "Whhhheeeyyyyy - Buy ya skipper a drink." But the night wouldn't be complete until Tom tearfully announced outside the LCR that he had once again "forgotten the way home."

Jon Dawson, BSc (Hons)

AKA: 110011101
Was: Publicity Officer (2002/3, 2003/4)

A proud member of the hockey club and a well respected geek he created the 'time sucking entity' that is the UEAHC forum. Jon was also legendary for knowing almost every member of the UEA cheerleaders who, in that year, were fit! Jon's DJing skills ensured he put on some of the best Wednesday BUSA nights ever (shame no one ever turned up to them after getting battered the night before at Murky).

Oli Gall, BA (Hons) MSc

AKA: Two Holes
Was: Tour Sec (2002/03)

UEA second highest goal scorer (113ish in 4 seasons). Terrorised freshers and girls alike. Punctured his arse whilst escaping Norwich Castle. Ran the acclaimed Monkey Tour of 2003 to Callelafest where 3 people broke their arms.

Laura Gower, BA (Hons)

AKA: Lil Gow Wow
Was: Tour Sec (2004/5), Ladies 3rd XI Captain (2005/6)

A reclusive skipper who thought "Training is for Wimps". She was responsible for demanding that a game be finished in hail stones against Harleston Magpies when 14-0 up, and for throwing the mother of all house parties which involved some rather dodgy home made punch and a large group of maths geeks!! Was madly in love with George 'The Human Wall' Perry but never had the bollocks to admit it!

Mike Hiscott, BA (Hons)

AKA:
Was:

Mike was on the receiving end of numerous spoof nominations for having a girlfriend who was better at hockey then him and taking a hairdryer with him to most games.

Pat Kearon, BSc (Hons)

AKA: Heart Breaker
Was: Social Sec (2004/5), Umpire Liason Officer (2005/6)

The 'Four Minute Fucker', Pat filled many a UEA girl!

Meerkat

AKA:

Small, quick and on heat, he organised our famous tour to Holland during the 2006/7 season. His most famous achievment, however, was nailing Mike Hiscotts sister Sarah only to leave her with nothing but a semi-wet pussy and severe mental problems.

Graham Medland, BA (Hons)

AKA: Medders
Was: Grouchy

Rich Mills, BSc (Hons)

AKA: Millzie
Was: Mens 2nd XI Captain (2004/5)

Millzie has been around since the time of Jesus, he has finally left having been one of the first ever UEA graduates. When on a hockey pitch Millzie's attitude is comparable to that of Genghis Khan, he destroys all those in his path including umpires. Responsible for much of this web sites design he should really get out more!

Sam Neate, BA (Hons)

AKA: Silky Fairy
Was: Ladies Club Captain (2005/6), Social Sec (2003/4)

Well what can we say about Samantha except bless her. A total piss head who is known for her unnaturally red face (sun beds just aren't cool). Should read instructions more carefully before waxing 'sensitive' areas.

George Perry, BA (Hons)

AKA: Hovis, Blowfish, Captain Birdseye, The Human Wall

The finest goalkeeper of any generation, George is known for his ability to pick up 'classy' girls inside the LCR and then promptly take them outside for some 'privacy'. He will happily explain to you the intricacies involved in modifying fish so that they can give blow jobs (should you be interested).

Gary Pinner, BA (Hons)

AKA: Rodders, X-Factor
Was: Men's Club Captain (2005/6), Secretary (2004/5), Umpire Liaison Officer (2004/5)

Gary set a UEAHC record in futility by running for 4 positions in the 2004/5 committee elections. Undeterred Gary stepped up his campaigning in the next elections; this coupled with the mysterious disappearance of his political rivals meant that he was voted Club Captain in a landslide. Gary’s subsequent reign of terror meant many dissidents and unsuspecting freshers were condemned to the club gulag (also known as the 3rds). When not 'modernizing' the club Gary could either be found at the bar giving out free drinks, or breaking up with someone.

Kai Price, BSc (Hons

AKA: Koy
Was: Kit Sec (2005/06)

Spanky, BSc (Hons) MA

AKA: Neil Walker, Judas
Was: Men's Club Captain (2004/5), Social Sec (2003/4)

Spanky is a wannabe alcoholic. During his time at UEA he was to be found regularly in the bar (hammered). His drunkenness often led him into difficulties, the highlight of which has to be pissing over his girlfriend whilst on tour. A talented player, Spanky, choose to leave UEAHC for the 2005/6 season and play for local rivals Norwich Union. Wanker!

James Stevens, BA (Hons)

AKA: Rhesus, Oldman, Gameboy
Was: Tour Sec (2004/5), Publicity Officer (2004/5, 2005/6)

James Stevens has been terrorising freshers since the dawn of time. He was the UEAHC games master due to his encyclopedic knowledge of any and all drinking games. James is a truly hardcore mentalist, one of only a few people who can be both loved and hated simultaneously. Winning the inaugrial C**t of the Year 2005/6, James went out on a high.

Drew Vermuelen, BA (Hons)

AKA: Tripod, Footlong
Was: Men's 1st XI Captain (2004/5), Secretary (2005/6)

The last of the amigos, Drew stands at an impressive 4ft 7ins. An extremely quick and skillful player Drew led the 1st XI during the 2004/2005 season. Off the pitch Drew constituently outperformed his successor, he was often to be seen boogying the night away in the LCR (hence the nickname 'dancing dwarf'). Despite his happy and affable nature Drew must always be approached with caution, your life could be threatened by a sudden outbreak of LMS.

Matt Watson, BA (Hons)

AKA: The Robot, Bald Eagle
Was: Men's 1st XI Captain (2005/6)

Matt is the UEA all time leading goal scoring (130ish in 3 seasons). He is an exciting attacking midfielder who will no doubt go on to achieve great things in hockey. Unfortunately Matt's skills with a hockey stick were not replicated down the bar. He is perhaps one of the worst spoof drinkers in UEA history with a record of 4 spoofs and 14 sicks (weak).

Ali Smyth

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